


The Difference Between Us

by LegendaryGriffin



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Redemption, Vanitas just needs friends, feelings are hard TM, kind of a character study?, these two are so fun to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22538473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegendaryGriffin/pseuds/LegendaryGriffin
Summary: “I hate you.”Ventus frowned, looking mildly inconvenienced rather than fearful, “then why are you telling me this instead of fighting? It seems more like a cry for help than a lecture.”“Because even if I force you to fight… Even if I manage to piss you off, you’ll still find some fucking way to spare me,” he hated how his voice wavered, even if it was barely noticeable. All he wanted, was for Ven to destroy him. Was that really too much to ask?“Then… How about a deal?”---I wanted to try my hand at writing these two :3 loosly inspired by the song Stronger by The Score (suits Vanitas pretty damn well).
Relationships: Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1: Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I l o v e these two. Im planning a small one shot series focusing on Ven and Van within their deal's time period. Its kinda a way to get me back into writing as well.
> 
> Hope I did them justice?? :PPP
> 
> Edit: Just a spelling fix

Vanitas watched blue eyes widen in shock, his own scowl turning upwards into an aggressive grin. It had taken him a while, but he was finally back where he belonged. Not even the space between worlds would stop him from achieving his goal.

“H-how…?” Vanitas laughed at his other half’s pathetic attempt to comprehend what was going on. Could he still not feel it? The way they were doomed to be connected for eternity? Ven’s ignorance always felt like a stab and twist of a jagged knife to his shitty excuse of a heart. How is it that only _he_ had to suffer through this painful connection?

“’How’ _what,_ Ventus?” he snarled, ignoring the distant shout of Aqua as he stalked closer to the only person who could end this suffering, “How am I alive? How did I find you? How are you not rid of me yet?!”

Ventus flinched back into a fighting stance, keyblade materialising in an instant. How cute. Even now, Vanitas could feel the fear and uncertainty radiate off his other half. It should have been amusing, but instead it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I bet you thought I was dead, isn’t that right?” he spat the words out venomously, anger swirling throughout his being until several Unversed burst into existence behind him. The truth was, Vanitas was looking forward to dying that day in the Keyblade Graveyard. No more pain, hurt, emptiness… But instead he was pulled back from the edge of oblivion, waking up in the Realm of Darkness with only half the power he originally had. He blamed Ventus. Who else would have dragged him back to this hell hole? If they weren’t linked so strongly, he could have just faded away to nothing.

Time was irrelevant in the Dark World, but he would assume several months had passed before he regained enough power to make it back to the Graveyard. It wasn’t as easy as utilising the facilities in the monster world, but at least the darkness there was constant there.

He had figured out that his lack of power was due to the death of Xehanort, causing his influence to extinguish and take away the energy boost along with it. Now he was back to feeling like half of his existence was ripped from him, just like the beginning. Without the x-blade, he could no longer use Kingdom Hearts to stop his suffering.

The only way he could fix this, to have any kind of chance in this shitty world, was to find Ventus.

“ _I_ even thought I was dead,” he continued to approach Ventus, like a cat stalking its prey, “but I’m _not_.”

“What do you want, Vanitas?” for some reason, he lowered his keyblade, “If you’re reconsidering my offer, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Vanitas was momentarily taken back by his words. Here he was, coming off as a threat, all intent to fight, and Ventus was still trying to get him to join the light. Something burned in his chest, but it wasn’t any emotion he had ever felt before. No… _No_ , this was going against his plans!

“Hah! As if I’d ever associate myself with you Lights! I’m here to fight! I’ll fight you until I’m broken, twisted and buried in ash, it’s as simple as that,” Vanitas now pointed Void Gear directly at Ventus, eyes narrowing when the other didn’t move. Why was this idiot so persistent!?

From the corner of his eye, he could see Aqua and Terra quickly approaching. Vanitas groaned loudly in frustration, sending the Unversed to keep the two Masters busy. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was meddlers.

“Ven!” Aqua’s fearful voice was the first to interrupt them, and Vanitas was already exhausted hearing that name come from her for the millionth time.

“ _Ven, Aqua, Terra_!” Vanitas mimicked in a scratchy high-pitched voice, “Is that all you lot can say? It fucking drives me insane!” he kept the Unversed still, hoping the barrier was enough to deter them away instead of risking their immediate destruction. So far, nobody had moved.

Aqua was about spurt out more nonsense when Ventus spoke up instead, “It’s fine, I can handle this. We’re just talking.”

Vanitas would have laughed, but he was more interested in the sudden lack of fear from his other. Instead there was a determined confidence, and he didn’t know if he should hate it or enjoy it. At least the bench warmers listened and shut up.

“Vanitas, you can still be darkness,” Ven started, a lot softer than before, “but you don’t have to fight to prove anything. I’ve seen how the darkness and light can coexist, so it’s possible. Just give it a chance.”

He scoffed and swung his keyblade down at Ventus, only to be blocked, “you _still_ don’t get it! Even with some shitty friends, nothing will change how I feel! The only way is for me to cease from existing, and you’re the only one I’ll ever let land the final blow.”

There was a split second of surprise through Ven’s eyes as he took in the new information. _That’s right Ventus, I want you to end me._

“You don’t know that! Unless you’ve picked up some real friends, you can’t say that’s true!” Ventus pushed back against their clashed blades, taking his own swing at Vanitas, “If I can be sad, then you can be happy too.”

Vanitas ducked under another swing, jabbing Ventus in the stomach to wind him. He had enough of this stupidity. Ventus needed everything spelt out to him.

Whilst the other was attempting to recover, Vanitas shoved his other to the ground, pinning him there with his foot on Ven’s chest. He leaned down, Void Gear slamming into the ground beside the blonde’s head, ignoring the pathetic cries of his friends. Even when he flinched from the impact, Vanitas didn’t find the same satisfaction as he used to.

“I’ll only say this once. Your sadness, and my sadness are two separate things. While my emotions are born from negativity, yours are from positivity. You cry because you lose something you had, I cry because I have _nothing_. You laugh because you find joy in being with others, I laugh because I find joy in _destroying_ others. We are _not_ the same.”

Ventus looks directly into his eyes, “then why do I still sometimes feel alone when my friends are there? You think you know everything about emotions, but you haven’t got anything to compare them to, so how can you be so sure?”

“Ven, get the hell out of there!” it was Terra this time and Vanitas didn’t have enough patience to entertain him.

_“Shut up!”_

He clenched his fist around his keyblade’s handle, grinding his teeth in frustration. He had to endure years of feeling phantom emotions from Ven travelling through their connection. He knew what true joy and happiness was supposed to feel like, but all it ever did to him was increase the void of his own heart. It was like being teased endlessly of things he could never have, fuelling his hatred and distain for the light and no matter how hard he tried shutting them out. It was futile.

“I hate you.”

Ventus frowned, looking mildly inconvenienced rather than fearful, “then why are you telling me this instead of fighting? It seems more like a cry for help than a lecture.”

“Because even if I force you to fight… Even if I manage to piss you off, you’ll still find some fucking way to spare me,” he hated how his voice wavered, even if it was barely noticeable. All he wanted, was for Ven to destroy him. Was that really too much to ask?

“Then… How about a deal?”

Vanitas already knew where this was going. The bastard was going to use this against him, force him to surround himself with all these annoying Lights until his point was proven. Well, Ventus must have been dreaming if he thought this would work. There was no way a being of darkness like himself would ever be able to change. That’s just how it was.

“If I prove you wrong within a month, you have the choice to stay here. But, if you’re right, then I’ll do whatever it is you want, even killing you,” Vanitas hesitated his response when Ventus hit him with a determined look. He really wasn’t going to give up, was he?

Was that a blessing or a curse, he wondered?

The embodiment of darkness yanked his keyblade out of the ground, retracting a few steps to keep some distance between them. In the scheme of things, a month was nothing in comparison to those long years spent in the Keyblade Graveyard, and if all he had to do was beat Ventus at his faulty deal, it may be the only choice he had. Still, he wished it wouldn’t feel like he lost the battle by agreeing to this stupidity.

 _“Fine_ ,” he spat, dematerialising his weapon to cross his arms and give a victorious grin. He had to make sure Ventus knew exactly where he stood in this agreement. He would win. He’d make sure of it.

“Ven, what are you doing?!” Aqua sounded distraught, a nice change of pace from Ven’s irritating confidence.

She gracefully leaped over the Unversed and was quick to stand defensively in front of Ventus, keyblade at the ready. He could hear Ven’s dramatic sigh from behind her and Vanitas couldn’t help but laugh tauntingly.

“Ahh, _Master_ Aqua, nice to see you’re still as overbearing as ever,” Vanitas took on a casual stance, hoping to rile her up as much as possible, “you know, Ventus is capable of holding his own without your pathetic interference.”

“I know that he’s capable, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be there for him,” she seemed to take the words in stride, but Vanitas knew exactly where to hit.

“Oh? Like you were for the past ten years?”

She stiffened, narrowing her eyes dangerously. There it was, the crack in her defence.

“Aqua, he’s just trying to get under your skin! Don’t listen-”

“All that time in the Realm of Darkness, and you haven’t learnt a single thing about it,” he interrupted whatever Ventus was trying to say, vaguely aware that Terra had started attacking the Unversed, “If you were oh so reliable, then why did it take you that long to return, I wonder…?”

“I fought for as long as I could. I didn’t stop believing that one day I’d escape and come back to my friends. That’s all I needed,” the keyblade Master managed to steel herself once more, and Vanitas didn’t like that.

“You’re just trying to hide from the fact that you succumbed to it. I can feel it, you know. The darkness hidden away inside you… Once you get a taste, you’re bound to seek it out again. Even Terra will run right back to-”

A sudden burst of pain and sorrow ripped through his core, knocking the breath out of him and forcing him to keel over. His vision doubled and his head throbbed as the memories of the destroyed Unversed hit him full force, dropping him to his knees. This wasn’t right… Something was wrong with him. He hasn’t been affected from the destruction of an Unversed in years.

His thoughts jumbled for a moment as he tried to fight back the anguish, unintentionally letting go of control of the creatures. Some ran and hid behind Vanitas, while others burst into fury and attacked whatever provoked them. If he couldn’t get himself together soon, another would be destroyed, and Vanitas feared the thought of going through _that_ hell again.

“ _Stop…_ ” he called out quietly, relieved when he heard both Ven and Aqua repeat the word loud enough for Terra to hear. It gave him just enough time to regain his awareness, allowing Vanitas to call back all his physical emotions to where they belonged. He took a few deep breaths as the humiliation settled in his heart. It amplified when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“What the hell just happened?!” Terra sounded confused and conflicted, as did Vanitas

“I d-don’t know? This has never happened during any of our other fights…”

“It happened after you destroyed that Unversed, maybe they’re linked somehow?”

“I’ve taken down hundreds of those things, you have too!”

“Yeah but as I said, this didn’t happen before…”

“But maybe that was because Master Xehanort was involved before?”

Vanitas was about to impale one of them- preferably whoever thought it was a good idea to touch him- when something Aqua had said clicked.

“Xehanort…” Vanitas froze. Of fucking course. He’d kill the bastard if he wasn’t already dead.

“What was that?” Ven’s voice lowered, the hand on Vanitas’s shoulder finally retracting. The Dark half could feel Ven’s eyes on him, along with both Aqua and Terra, and he immediately regretted speaking up.

Slowly, he shifted back to sit up on his heals, face pulled back into an arrogant smirk. He looked up at Aqua, who was visibly tense, then to Terra’s unreadable expression before his eyes landed on Ventus. The blond was well and truly in his personal space, but he found he didn’t care as much as he should have.

“I don’t owe you lot _anything_ ,” Vanitas hissed, wishing he still had his helmet to at least feel less exposed, “just like you don’t owe _me_.”

He stood up, Ven following suit, looking worried as if Vanitas would fall any second, “You lot haven’t done anything for me! Instead I learned and trained to survive on my own. I didn’t need you to understand my place in this world, not even the old bastard, who was nothing but a lying piece of shit, ready to toss me aside at a moment’s notice! You should have struck me down when you had the _chance!”_

Vanitas lunged forward in fury, Void Gear materialising as dark energy crackled around its blade. Ventus was his first target, the closest and most vulnerable of the three, but before he could pull back for a swing, Ven met him halfway in what felt like a tight hug.

“What-?!”

“I’m sorry…”

Vanitas remained still, shellshocked in place. Not even the loud clang of his keyblade meeting the ground was enough to jolt him back to reality. When he was finally able to process what the actual fuck had just occurred, he found himself utterly lost and confused at his own lack of retaliation. He should have just shoved the other off, but he _couldn’t_. A sick feeling welled up in his chest alongside the lingering pain, but it wasn’t like the symptoms of magic fatigue he sometimes felt. It was warmer, and more foreign than uncomfortable. He didn’t have a word for it.

He could see Aqua and Terra watching them with uncertainty over Ven’s shoulder, both their weapons ready to strike if need be. That’s right, he had the power to end Ventus at that moment. Even if they saw it coming, neither of them would make it in time if he decided to go through with it.

Then there was the apology. It was uncalled for and definitely undeserving. If anything, Ventus should be cursing him for everything he had done, both to him and his annoying friends. Hell, he had full intent on attacking all three of them a second ago. Why were people associated with light so stupid?!

“If I had of known you were out there, I would have looked for you,” Ven finally elaborated, sounding a lot sadder about it than Vanitas would have liked, “So, I’m sorry.”

And that was all he could take. Vanitas vanished out of Ventus’s hold, momentarily turning himself into a shadow to put space between them, not unlike how a Flood would. He reappeared a good distance away, staring flatly at the three idiots as Ventus looked around frantically until his eyes settled back on his dark half.

“As much as I’m having fun messing with you losers, it’s time I take my leave,” he turned dramatically, flipping them off as he opened a Corridor. He needed to get away before he imploded.

“Wait! What about our deal?!”

He paused, glancing over his shoulder to get a glimpse of Ven’s desperate expression. Saying ‘no’ would have been the correct response, but he hesitated, and quickly spat out the safest words that came to mind.

“I’ll think about it.”

With that he disappeared into the darkness to mull over the strange encounter.


	2. Chapter 2: The Fear of the Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy so this is more of a part 2 to the previous part with Ven's thoughts after our angst lord leaves :PPP
> 
> Hope yall enjoy!

Ventus collapsed to his knees as soon as the dark portal faded away, vaguely aware that his friends had rushed to his side. He was shaking slightly, but not so much out of fear as it was the result of the adrenaline running through him. A lot had happened within the past few minutes and Ventus was still trying to piece everything together.

He couldn’t believe what just happened. 

He had managed to get through to his dark side for a split second, just enough time to give him a choice. And Vanitas was going to _consider_ it. The guy who refused the light or any kind of help was going to think about Ven’s proposal, and it was exhilarating! They just might be able to give Vanitas the chance he needed to realise there was more to both the dark and light.

But then there were the potential repercussions. Vanitas had told him he wanted to ‘cease existing’ directly to his face, and Ven had said he would do it if his attempts at changing Vanitas’s mind didn’t follow through. He made the deal, and yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to kill the other if it came to that. It just wasn’t in his heart to even consider it.

“Guys, we have to do whatever we can to help him.”

Terra exchanged a doubtful look with Aqua as he helped lift Ventus back onto his feet. The blond knew he was asking a lot considering… well, everything Vanitas had done in the past. There was a lot of bad blood between the trio and the supposed manifestation of darkness. It was something he couldn’t ignore no matter how bad he felt for Vanitas.

“Ven, you know he’s dangerous. He might not even want help,” Aqua spoke up first, but Ventus expected as much. The Realm of Darkness was still way too fresh in her mind, leading to many nightmares and moments where she would space out. She tried to hide it from Ventus, but he knew she was still struggling, and as much as he hated that he was still being treated like some oblivious kid, he also didn’t want to make her feel worse. She was trying so hard to ‘shelter’ him after all.

Ventus had argued with Terra a few times in an attempt to let him help, but Terra was adamant that he stayed out of it. He wanted Aqua to associate the light with Ventus, so all he had to do was keep the atmosphere upbeat and pretend everything was all okay.

But it wasn’t okay. None of them had truly been ‘okay’. Perhaps they had more in common with Vanitas than he first thought.

“Maybe not, but he still deserves a chance!” Ven turned to face her with determination, “I won’t let him think that death is the only way out!”

Aqua flinched back at his outburst, not used to seeing her friend so decisive, “well I’m not putting our lives at risk for someone who couldn’t care less about others. This is a serious matter, and we aren’t at all equipped to deal with him.”

She was right, if Vanitas decided to go on a rampage there was a high chance they would lose. Aqua and Terra meant nothing to his dark half, and Ventus wasn’t entirely sure if he would be spared either, but still…

“While I was here having fun with you guys, he was stuck at the Keyblade Graveyard with Xehanort feeding him lies and false hope,” the blond tore his gaze from Aqua’s to stare solemnly at the ground, “nobody was there for him, he must have been so lonely…”

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault. You had no idea he even existed,” Aqua was quick to reassure, her tone soft and sympathetic. Ventus attempted a grateful smile, but he knew it fell flat.

“He just seemed so sad, Aqua… Like he wants everything to be different but can’t bring himself to believe it,” he glanced up to look at the space where Vanitas last stood, a deep sadness welling up from within. No one deserved absolute desertion.

“I think we should try.”

“Terra?!” Both Ventus and Aqua exclaimed loudly, almost jumping when he suddenly spoke up, although Aqua’s tone was way more scandalised while Ven was just surprised.

The man looked over them both and laughed fondly, “you’re both right, it is a dangerous decision, but I also think he should be given a chance.”

“But, _Terra_ -!”

“Think about it, if he’s willing to accept the deal, it means he’s desperate. He’ll do anything to stop his own suffering, and it just so happens that our goal is the same thing- just a different method,” as Terra continued, Ven’s expression brightened as he nodded along enthusiastically, “we just have to show him that we care. Enough for him to want to stay.”

Ventus launched himself onto Terra, forcing him down into a hug, “yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chanted happily before bouncing back over to Aqua with a hopeful grin.

“I… You…” the Keyblade Master was at a loss for words, doubt still plain as day on her features, “I don’t know…”

“It’s okay, you have time to think about it,” Ventus maintained his smile and put a hand on her shoulder in comfort, knowing how difficult it had to be for her. He may have jumped the gun a little when he offered Vanitas the deal before consulting his friends, but he still wanted them to help willingly rather than forcibly.

Aqua nodded and the three of them headed back into the castle with lots to think about.

\---

The first thing Ventus did was clear out the room next door to his own. Maybe he was getting a little ahead of himself, but he wanted Vanitas to know he wasn’t just taking him in as a second thought. No, he would be top priority while staying here, and Ven would make sure of it.

The room was mostly used for storage, so it was only a matter of clearing out the boxes of random stuff and cleaning up the dust. It didn’t take too long despite his initial plan of using an Aero spell blew up in his face-

_“Ven! What was that noise?!”_

_“NOTHING-!”_

Yeah, nobody needed to know that detail.

He finished adjusting the new sheets and stood back to admire his work. There were a few areas of dust he didn’t quite get to, and the bedspreads were a little wonky, but it was possibly the best cleaning job he had ever done.

Though, he hadn’t counted on becoming a dust monster himself, but it was a sacrifice for the greater good, so he didn’t mind too much. One shower and a change of clothes later, Ven was bounding down the stairs to the common room where Terra and Aqua were chatting on their newly acquired couches.

“So, where did you run off to?” Aqua sent him an amused look and Ventus grinned sheepishly. He was happy she was in a better mood.

“I was sorting out the accommodation for our potential guest,” he sat beside her and crossed his legs, earning a small smack to his knee as Aqua had a rule about no shoes on the furniture. He begrudgingly did as he was told.

“Oh, so that’s what the racket was,” Terra laughed a little, “good news, Aqua is willing to help out with Vanitas.”

If the blond was already in a good mood, now he was elated, “really?! Awesome! I promise everything will work out fine!”

“Of course. With you there, I’m sure your overwhelming positivity and kindness will rub off on him,” the Keyblade Master couldn’t help but smile back as she playfully ruffled her friend’s hair, earning a half-hearted whine in protest.

“Aquaaa…” he batted at her arm in an attempt to escape the embarrassing gesture, giggling happily despite his mild irritation. Now everyone was on board with the plan, which meant all they had to do was wait for Vanitas to return. That could be any time from now to the next few days.

Ventus wasn’t worried if Vanitas wouldn’t show up, he was certain his dark half would take the deal with how desperate he acted. The problem was getting the other to open up, or at least try to care about their efforts. Vanitas could easily just ignore them the whole time too, if he really wanted. Ven would just have to gently poke his way into the other’s personal bubble without coming across as invasive.

“I think we should decide on some rules,” Terra gathered their attention to the topic at hand, “Just as a precaution.”

“Well, for the deal to work, he will have to stay in the Land of Departure to give us the chance to make him feel happy, but I don’t think we should put too many restrictions on him,” Ven started them off with a small warning. This wasn’t supposed to be some kind of correction camp, it was to give Vanitas the opportunity to live normally. He was happy when Terra nodded in agreement.

“No magic unless he’s spoken to me about it, that includes waving a keyblade around,” Aqua’s voice reverted back to being serious.

“Yeah, that seems fair…”

“Do we want to ban any talk about the past?” the eldest of the three was hesitant to ask, and Ven couldn’t blame him. Aqua had suddenly gone quiet.

“If I’m being honest, I think it’s best if he’s allowed to say whatever he wants,” the blond spoke a little slower, cautious of his friend’s feelings, “I’m not going to ask you guys to act like he’s your best friend, because I know he needs to apologise and I know he won’t deserve forgiveness until he does. But, in order for it to be authentic, Vanitas will have to navigate you two on his own. This was my idea, so I’ll take the responsibility of looking after him. All you guys need to do is treat him like a person.”

Aqua took a deep breath, taking a moment to process his words, “okay, you’re right. Forcing him to play nice will defeat the purpose of this plan; however, I won’t hesitate to call him out on his shit either.”

“And so you should!”

Terra chuckled and the others soon laughed along with him. These moments were always nice. The obvious despair and regret disappearing for brief moments as they hung out together. They were always better off together than apart, even more so after everything they had been through.

Despite being granted time off to recover mentally and physically, there was also the feeling of helplessness in the back of their minds. Sora was gone, and they had all felt the loss. They couldn’t even help with the search yet since they weren’t back to being themselves fully. At least now they had someone to help again, no matter how unprepared they probably were for this.

“Not going to lie, I’m a little excited,” Terra admitted, earning a surprised look from both Aqua and Ventus, “oh come on, don’t look at me like that.”

“Aha, It’s just unexpected? But I’m glad!”

“Why?” Aqua jumped in quickly.

“I don’t really remember much from when I was… yeah, but sometimes I could catch glimpses of what was going on, or maybe they were memories? Some of them would involve the Organisation, while some were focused only on Master Xehanort. I have fleeting memories of Vanitas too, most of them weren’t pretty.”

Ventus frowned, “what… what did you see…?”

“Some really intensive training, or what Xehanort said was ‘training’,” Terra refused to elaborate, “He was also rarely around the others, but when he did join meetings, he was dead silent, only spoke if someone engaged with him. I couldn’t see his face since he wore that helmet all the time, but his actions were enough for me to assume he was either afraid or just highly uncomfortable. Oddly enough, he didn’t seem like he wanted any part of Xehanort’s plan from what I saw. So, I have hope that this arrangement could work out, and it would be nice having others around considering how big this place is.”

As much as Ven wanted to press for more information, he knew doing so would be disrespectful to both Terra and Vanitas, but he couldn’t help but come up with his own conclusions. ‘Intensive training’ could allude to no breaks, or harsh injuries. No rules? Was Xehanort that ruthless to not hold back in training?

The man did tear them apart and was going to leave him for dead if Sora hadn’t gotten involved. He wasn’t afraid to shatter hearts, why wouldn’t he go as far to break Vanitas in? He felt sick.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present, “it’s okay, Ven, we’ll do our best to help him.” The fact it was Aqua saying reassuring him made it that much more believable.

“Yeah! We’ll be so welcoming; he’ll have no choice but to love us!”

\---

Vanitas had been sitting down at the edge of some random lake in the Realm of Darkness, staring into the watery abyss for quite a while now. A whole day to be exact. He allowed his thoughts to wander around the subject of staying with Ventus and his do-gooder friends, a topic he was certain he’d ignore if it wasn’t his only option.

Was it cruel? To deny him the sweet sanctuary of death? To make him continue existing in the endless whirlpool of suffering and despair?

Was it even possible for him to live _normally_?

‘Normal’, hah… When did that ever apply to him…

Sitting around and wallowing in his own grief seemed to help Vanitas evaluate his feelings a lot better than when he based his judgment off instinct and impulse. It made him feel like he actually had a choice, even if he was sure he was just being hopeful- which he knew he should have squashed as soon as the thought manifested into another Unversed mess of hopelessness. The thing prodded at his side before deeming him boring, running off to who knows where. Usually he’d gat mad and chase them down, but he found he didn’t care.

Or maybe he was just scared of what happened the last time one was destroyed.

Vanitas sighed and shifted his gaze to the swirling darkness of the sky above. It was weird to actually sit down and think about what he truly wanted. There was no Xehanort breathing down his neck or stupid errands to run for Xemnas, just himself and his thoughts, and a whole lot of darkness.

Would the Realm of Light be able to sustain him in this state? He could feel it, whenever he used a spell the darkness wouldn’t regenerate. Not unless he was here, where darkness thrived. He required negativity of others or dark energy to remain whole and he didn’t know what would happen if he didn’t have accessibility to any of those for a whole month. Stupid Lights and their obliviousness.

The whole thing was stupid. He could already see the glares from Aqua and Terra, the look of _pity_ from Ventus. He was sure he’d be locked inside that disgustingly pristine castle, being forced into the weird rituals that humans had such as ‘dinner’ or ‘parties’. Vanitas was sure he’d ruin those with his attitude in a heartbeat. Hmm, he wondered how angry he could get all three of them in one go…

What did they think they would get out of this anyway? An apology? Perhaps they were going to try and ‘reform’ him as a light, which was impossible no matter how hard they tried.

Or maybe Ventus really did think he was redeemable and was telling the truth when he said he could still be darkness.

Vanitas humoured the idea of living peacefully in the Land of Departure, just for his own amusement. For starters, he’d have his own room where he could actually sleep for once. He would like to be acknowledged, a simple ‘hi’ as he passed would be great. He’d challenge everyone with spars, only to beat them and be told ‘good job’ or ‘you’re so cool’…

It all sounded like a dream, and Vanitas didn’t have dreams. But then again, he had thought he couldn’t feel anything positive either. One thing had been circling his head ever since he arrived back in the dark world.

He didn’t hate the surprise hug he received from Ventus.

At first, he was angry that the blond had even _considered_ touching him in any way. People in general were distasteful and Vanitas _hated_ the idea of anyone infringing on his person, whether that be a handshake or God forbid a _hug_. But then he realised the foreign feeling in his chest was nothing like anything he had ever experienced before. He couldn’t pinpoint which negative emotion it could have derived from and that scared him. The only think he could think of, was that to some degree, he actually _liked_ it.

And not the ‘I hurt you and liked it’ kind of like, this was the ‘I like this please don’t stop’ kind of like.

Fuck, Vanitas just wanted to jump into the icy black water and disappear for eternity.

It was something he couldn’t ignore now, and he knew the only way to find out if he could ever feel that way again was to accept that stupid deal.

He wouldn’t go crawling back like a lost puppy, no. But his curiosity was peaked, and desperation drove him to open a Corridor and return to the Realm of Light.

For once he allowed himself to hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ven, you're doing God's work my boi <3
> 
> And now i can start writing the fun stuff nyehehe~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Yo if anyone is interested in trying out a casual RP with Ven/Van or Sora/Riku hmu boi. RP really helps me with characterisation ^^


End file.
